Walmart gives me cart rage

The only thing worse than attempting to go shopping at Walmart around any sort of holiday is maybe having a root canal without anastethic while being forced to endure constant reruns of I am too sexy for my hair while also having the dentist who is torturing you smelling like he peed all over him self eons ago and has yet to change into something clean and presentable. There is nothing worse than walmart shopping over Christmas.

 Last trip to walmart in a nutshell - if you need men's underwear there probably isn't any left - crazy old lady I swear had like 50 pairs in her damned cart. WTF? Who the hell needs that damned many pairs of gitch?

Attempting to buy a game for my kids game system resulted in 20 minutes watching the only person working in the electronics section baby sitting some stupid old man who couldn't possibly actually need to be watched over as he waited for the manager to come over to speak to him while 10 very angry irritable people milled about wondering is this girl for real? I mean seriously guys either start training your staff or stop looking for them in the bottom of cracker-jack boxes. 

Oh and then there is the parking lot - what the hell?! Does the average walmart shopper have absolutely no clue what-so-fucking ever how the hell to park? I swear that simply by the act of entering one of their lots the average IQ of people plummets. 

Answers to the christmas shopping at walmart not so smart dilema. 1) Hey walmart how about some people with a fucking clue what work is about???? 2) Free booze at the front door - hey if I could shop drunk walmart might not be so damned bad. 3) A dedicated old people isle where they can park their carts any damned way they please and ho and hum over every fucking little thing all they damned well want. 4) Spiked egg nog served at the front door. WHy? See # 2. 5) How about NOT playing that cursed christmas crap music from July on - way to ruin a holiday by seriously over doing it! 6) Booze on the premises given freely to customers - if this can't happen - get your darned employees drunk - they might work better that way. 7) How about a fast lane that is actually a fast lane as in don't stick the 90 year old ladies that work there at the damned tills. 8) Again BOOZE - seriously guys walmart might be fun if ya shop there drunk! And finally - bumpers on the front of the carts so when I feel like bashing my cart into people at random I can do so knowing full well that I won't hurt them (much) as the carts are padded. (Unless of course I run them over, back up, run them over again and maybe again and maybe again and maybe again.) - think maybe its time for a drink, Merry Fucking Xmas everyone!